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23 June 2005 @ 01:30 pm
whatever differences our lives have been, we together make a limb  
i should have made this entry a few days ago when i was so so happy and just moving in to my new apartment. which is great btw. but now im depressed again. i feel lost and so despair ridden and thats not even a thing and i dont even care. i have been listening to a lot of decemberists. maybe i should listen to more basement jaxx and cheer myself up. or maybe i should just pack it in and come home. even though now everything is poised to be great and okay and everything seems to be working out i cant seem to get out of this funk.

my mom told me when i first told her i was moving that whatever problems i was running away from they would follow me wherever i went. at the time, i didnt think i was running away from anything i thought i was trying to have a new experience. now, im not so sure. cause i feel like running again. just call me forrest.

i believe that when i think back on my life and all the people ive known and loved this song is the one that can sum up the experience for me perfectly:

this the story of the boys who loved you
who love you now and loved you then
and some were sweet and some were cold and snuffed you
and some just laid around in bed
some they crumbled you straight to your knees
did it cruel did it tenderly
some who crawled their way into your heart
to rend your ventricles apart

this is the story of the boys who loved you

just know that whatever happens with me, your support and love have meant the world to me. and that whether we turned out good or bad, you have helped to make me the person i am today, and without even one of you i would not be able to be me. for that i want to thank you.

i miss you all

Current Mood: depresseddespondant
Current Music: decemberists - clementine
castortroysgirl on June 22nd, 2005 03:57 pm (UTC)
Craptacular eh?
it's because life sucks, dear.

feeling crappy myself. check out my serious journal which i need to add you too!

i wish i could do something cool and exciting like go somewhere but i can't. i just can't. i'm in a rut and it's flipping driving me nuts. ha that rhymes. rut. nut. chelsey made a funny.

you know what is extremely pathetic, the highlight to my day is watching the persuaders no joke. it is. now, bet you feel a little better that you're you. ha

*big hugs*
love you

ps. where's my fed exed irishman?!
Ghastly One-Eyed Minnotheminno on June 25th, 2005 07:38 am (UTC)
Tell you what. You pull yourself together, or you'll never see your Kim Bingham CD! *maniacal laughter*

Er... I mean...

I love you and hope you are doing alright.

Yes. That's exactly what I meant. <4

~The Minno
queenie b: rock prostitutebluebirdgirl on June 29th, 2005 02:39 pm (UTC)
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<_<>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<_< >_>

what do you mean?

<_< >_>

who is this kim bingham of whom you speak.

...whats that behind you?