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14 May 2003 @ 03:18 am
im at my lowest ebb, so please dont take that tone  
here is my question...

Are You Depressed?
Emotions: Do you feel ineffably sad or cry a great deal?
Appetite/weight: Have you gained or lost weight? Do you binge or overeat?
Sleep: Do you have chronic insomnia or excessive sleepiness? Are you tired all the time, regardless how much sleep you get?
Anger: Do you experience outbursts of complaints or shouting? Have you been feeling resentful and angry?
Outlook: Have you lost interest in hobbies or activities that you formerly enjoyed?
Libido: Have you lost interest in sex?
Self-esteem: Do you feel worthless, unattractive, inappropriately guilty?
Concentration: Do you have a hard time concentrating? Are your thoughts muddy or foggy?
Anxiety: Do you brood, have phobias, delusions or fears?
Restlessness: Do you have trouble sitting still?
Muted affect: Do you have slow body movements and speech?
Suicide: Have you thought you'd be better off dead?

is it bad that the answer was yes to ever single one of these? how about the fact that im on antidepressants? does that make it better or worse...?

however, i do want to thank moozie for this article because of these 2 paragraphs..

Other common signs of depression may not be found in medical journals. "I ask patients if there are cobwebs in their house," says psychiatrist Andy Myerson, M.D. "If patients aren't bathing, if their house isn't clean, if they can't get out of bed -- that's a good indication that they're depressed."

major depression is far more persistent than simple sadness. It descends as a sort of psychic cloud, numbing the soul with the conviction that the bleak outlook will never change. It interferes with sleep, appetite, sexual interest, self-image, and attitude. If you suffer from major depression, you can't just "snap out of it."

ive been sleeping all day so i wont have to look at my house. but i just couldnt make myself do anything about it. at least now i know why im such a lazy screw-up.

if the new system doesnt come by the end of this year, i have the feeling that im going to require more medication then my body can tolerate.

i love all of you so much.
jeanne, you are in my thoughts constantly.
i have a sore in my mouth that keeps me from eating and its getting worse.
still have the migraines.
i would kill for some extra cheesy nacho cheese doritos.
still cant find a job, and at this point dont think im physically capable of working full time.
my dog is sick and i need to take her to the vet.
and i cant take my pain pills or my muscle relaxers with my antidepressants.
but take away all that away and my life is....still crap.

virginia woolf.
Current Mood: hungryhungry
mooziemamamoozie on May 14th, 2003 09:32 am (UTC)
Aw, sweetie, I've been missing you and worrying about you
on the bright side, your boy Clay did rather well last night, did you see? I can't get through to vote though. You should go see him if the Americal Idols tour comes to Dallas.

Screw finding a job for right now. Take care of your doggie-poo, and take care of yourself. Stop calling yourself a screw-up, or I'll have to come over there and slap you around. :-) Moozie cares, she really does.
ex_savoytruf156 on May 14th, 2003 01:03 pm (UTC)
*kisses your forhead*
I love you, boo! I'm sorry all is not well. Hey, if it makes you feel better, I answered yes to most of those questions too. Life is a bitch and then you meet one. Well, you met my sister. *insane laughter* Okay, call me if you need to or come by or email me. I'm good at listening even if I can't give you any pain medication or advice. I'm half Frasier Crane, you know. "I'm listening."

Love you lots and sends hugs to you and Rascal with her fat rump roast,