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17 December 2002 @ 09:17 am
it is official. i have the flu. i think i just might die today. and i didnt bring any sinus medication with me. so now im going to have to go buy more when i have a crap load but its all at my house.

ive been very depressed. a couple days ago, i was seriously considering taking all the pills i had in my purse. (believe me its enough) but i was able to get through it with the help of karris who called me to discuss pudding wrestling and why guys enjoy it so much. ive finally discovered that im just tired of living. not so much that i want to die, but life just takes so much energy, so much work, and im just so tired. i just feel like giving up sometimes. sleeping would be so much easier. however that would be taking the easy way out and i am not a wimp. plus, im to tired to kill myself because that takes planning and stuff. well enough of that depressing talk. im sure ill be over it in a week or two.

i had a truly bad weekend. crying in public and the like, i know i mentioned it. so yesterday i get an email from a friend of mine who was out with us that night and she starts talking about having love for one another and the like so i figure shes going to ask if im okay and try and get out of me what was wrong. however, she instead tells me how my behavior that night was child like and petulant, and that if i dont make some changes in my sarcastic and smart-alec personality she would have to limit her association with me. while i appreciated her honesty and the way she handled it i was, to put it very mildly, quite upset. so now that ive calmed down, i need to find a way to apologize for acting badly this weekend, but let her know in the future i would appreciate it if she would cut me a little slack, since i was obviously upset, and dont behave that way naturally. i also have to find a polite way to tell her that the sarcasm stays its who i am and i like it and while i have been working on scaling back somewhat, i have no ability, let alone desire to cut it out completely. im not sure the best way so say all this, especially without hurting her feelings........hmmmm.. its a mystery.

okay before i leave just a few side points. the bad guy in star trek: nemisis....wowsa he is so incredibly hot.....so pretty. you know who else is hot?? the guy who plays luca on er. we were watching it last night. wow, hes so troubled and beautiful. plus the guy from barbershop was guest starring. with the blue eyes and his lovely afro. *sigh* now that you all have something lovely to think about, id probably better dash seeing how i have done no work today at all.

lord i think my head just might explode. maybe its not the flu, maybe i have meningitis or something and ill have to go to the hospital. then i could sleep. ahhh. sleep, lovely sleep. desk looking so comfy... must dash. love to you all,

-death rock girl
Current Mood: sadsad
Current Music: pennyroyal tea - nirvana
ex_savoytruf156 on December 17th, 2002 11:04 am (UTC)
You could be right!
Symptoms of meningitis are flu like problems, horrible, horrible, unbearable headache, and you can't turn her head because it's too stiff....

But i'm not a doctor so who's to know that you're going to die or not. I said all this to drive you crazy. ;-) probably worked. You gonna be at the meeting tonight?
Love you very very very very very very very very much!
she's sick from chlorine but she'll never be clean: behind it allsoftest_fire on December 17th, 2002 11:53 am (UTC)
wherever youre going, im going your way
as you know i often feel like that, but then i am actually glad to wake the next morning...

as to that girl who emailed you, i think she needs a lot of little drinks to kill that bug up her arse.. what a twit.. i hate those people.. its like im such a whackjob that you need to write this email telling me that then just get gone and when reality hits you dont come crying to me..

i have little sympathy for those who are well and think they know everything which is best for everyone else... retards..

'try walking in my shoes, youd stumble in my footsteps' - depeche mode

i love you
ill be there soon
with parrot bay
never leave
i couldnt last a day without you
queenie bbluebirdgirl on December 17th, 2002 12:22 pm (UTC)
Re: wherever youre going, im going your way
i never want to try and find out if its possible for me to last a day without you.

love you eternally,
dont forget the stoli either,
we'll have a ball
cause you're sensational
sensational, thats all.

-ms. tracy samantha lord